Checking & Doubting
Repeatedly checking locks, homework, or appliances due to persistent doubt.
My child checks the door locks over and over before bed
Every night, your child gets out of bed multiple times to check that the front door, back door, and windows are locked. What used to be a single check has grown into a ritual that can take 20 to 45 minutes, and they become visibly distressed if you try to stop them or reassure them that everything is secure.
They re-read and re-write homework until it's 'perfect'
Your child spends hours on assignments that should take 20 minutes. They erase and rewrite answers, re-read paragraphs over and over, and tear up pages that don't look "right." The perfectionism has turned homework time into a nightly battle that leaves everyone exhausted and frustrated.
They ask me to confirm the stove is off dozens of times
Your child asks you repeatedly whether the stove is off, the curling iron is unplugged, or an appliance is turned off — even if they watched you check it or never used the appliance themselves. The questions come in waves, often before leaving the house or at bedtime, and no amount of reassurance seems to be enough.
They check their body constantly for signs of illness
Your child frequently examines their body — checking their throat, feeling for lumps, monitoring their heartbeat, inspecting moles, or Googling symptoms. They ask you repeatedly if they look sick, if a freckle has changed, or if a normal sensation means something is seriously wrong. Doctor visits provide only temporary relief before the worry returns.
My adult child texts me repeatedly to confirm things are safe at home
Your adult child, who may be living on their own or away at college, texts or calls you multiple times a day to confirm that the doors are locked, the stove is off, no one has broken in, or that you are safe. If you don't respond quickly, they become panicked. You want to support them but can feel yourself becoming their round-the-clock reassurance system.